Balance

Having phenomenally over-scheduled myself in the month of June, I know that balance is something that my husband would love me to acquire. The never-ending whirl of activity and excitement that this month has been has exhausted me—and the activities that I should have looked forward to, began to devolve into just another chore that I had to endure.

Most of these activities were things that I had no control over, they just all happened to land in the same month. But they did cause me to reflect that if they had been spread out just a little more, each of them would have been more enjoyable. I could have given my full attention to the activity I was doing at the time, rather than keeping a corner of my brain busy planning for the next thing that I had to get ready for as soon as we got home.

Also, spending most of the month on the road made me realize that there needed to be some balance in my no-sugar diet as well. I figured, as I was munching on fast-food while driving through California, that there was no way that this was sugar-free. Somewhere in the bun, the meat, the condiments, the dressing, the salsa, the fries was all sorts of bad stuff—including sugar.

And yet, I didn’t have the time nor the facilities to avoid it.

“In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We’ve got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there is a lot of grey to work with. No one can live in the light all the time.” Libby Bray

It was not practical for me to hold up the other cars in line behind me (not to mention trying the patience of the six other people in the van with me) while I yelled through the static-y drive-up order microphone to grill the teenager on the other end about whether something on their mile-long menu had sugar in it. So I made my peace with finding the balance between making the trip work in a timely (and comfortable) fashion and avoiding the obvious sources of sugar (sodas, shakes, ketchup, etc.).

Did some sugar slip in? Probably. Did my husband want to strangle me? Probably (but for things other than being unreasonable about no-sugar!).

When I’m home or in an environment that I can control, I’m merciless with myself (I would kill to have a smear of mayonnaise or some ranch on a salad). But when I’ve got a 15 hour drive with five kids ahead of me, balance is found and sanity is preserved.

Now, on to my next busy week away from home. (Hey, I’m a slow learner!)

“It is the harmony of the diverse parts, their symmetry, their happy balance; in a word it is all that introduces order, all that gives unity, that permits us to see clearly and to comprehend at once both the ensemble and the details.” Henri Poincare

Week 10, out!